Out of Stupidity comes BRILLIANCE!

The stupidity? Exercising at noon when all you've had to eat was a 6 oz yogurt at 8 am.

The brilliance? Making 'nana-butter pudding!!

I went today for a workout. While on the floor doing crunches, I was light-headed and dizzy. My trainer asked if I ate anything. I said, yeah, a yogurt when I got up, maybe around 9. (It was actually more around 8.) So, we continue with the workout, a bit slower in pace so I don't keel over.

I left there, feeling quite refreshed, actually and took the trash in my truck to the dump. However, I was starving. I'm thinking of all the stuff I could/should eat as I'm driving home. There's soup I could heat up. I've got stuff for a salad. There's veggies in the freezer. All that good stuff. I hit the door and see 3 well-ripened bananas on the counter and my stomach growls loud enough to be heard in Cancun!

OK. Forget all thoughts of "fixing" something and grab a banana and just start eating. Then I spot the peanut butter. I'm thinking, hmmm, slice the banana and put some peanut butter on it. Protein and carbs AND high in potassium. It's all good. I slice the banana, dump a huge spoonful of extra chunky pb on it and it just doesn't look appealing.

How do I eat it? Fork? Spoon? Grab a chunk of banana and some pb? Grab a glob of pb and then some banana? Too complicated. So, I grabbed the blender and turned the whole thing into pudding! I realized that there was actually too much peanut butter, so I had to add another banana.

There you have it: 'nana-butter pudding:

2 well-ripened bananas sliced
1 big spoon of your favorite peanut butter

Blend until smooth; but leave in a few lumps just for texture. Eat.

This was really very satisfying. It had a really nice rich creamy texture and was sweet. I felt like I was eating something I shouldn't be eating -- this is way too good to be good for me. I guess the riper the bananas, the sweeter and more decadent the taste.

If you try it, let me know if you like it. Don't go screwing it up by putting sugar or chocolate in it! Although, I'll bet eating a gummy worm with this would be kind of cool. Totally different textures and tastes.

Whining Like a Baby

I'm cleaning the "TV" room. This is day two. Day one consisted of removing huge amounts of dirt/dust, throwing numerous things in the trash and mopping the dog pee/poop off of the floor. I was really hoping the smell would come out with just the Oxyclean and hot water. It did.

So, day two and I'm STILL removing huge amounts of dirt and dust and throwing stuff away. I have no idea how in the world she spent HOURS in that room with the smell and dirt. And she had the audacity to chide me about the dog hair in my room. (Yes, there was enough to make a Great Dane when I finally cleaned up, but at least there was no biological waste in there!)

Oh, and she used the lamp shades as pin cushions. Man that really ticks me off! There are pin holes in the lamp shades. What is wrong with her? She got up to get the stupid needle and thread, she can't get up to put it away? NO, she had to stick the darned needle in my LAMP SHADES because, well, obviously that's where they go. It's a fashion statement, don't you know!?

I'm really looking forward to the first call from my sister saying, "Why didn't you tell me that Mommy..."

Oh, yeah. Can't wait. Wonder how long it's gonna take.

New goal in life

I went to Church last night for the first time in I don't know how long. It was good. It was about Life Long Learning. I've always been into "learning something new every day." But I've allowed myself to forget that zest for knowledge in the past few years.

One of my favorite sayings is, "Knowledge is Power." That is based on my job, actually, and the fact that I'm constantly explaining to people how to determine if their money is real. You can't detect counterfeit money if you don't know what real money looks like. If you know what to look for, no one can take advantage of you. That goes for everything in life, not just your cash! So...

If knowledge is power...and power makes you rule...I want to rule the universe!

No, I'm not saying I want to be a dictator. I'm saying I want to know EVERYTHING there is to know. That's my new goal in life. Knowledge. To continue to learn something new every day. To find joy in every moment. To bury the past. To look forward to the future. To live in the moment. To find me again. To wake up and be happy.

Life Sucks

My mother has lived with me for nearly 9 years. Today I told her she needs to find somewhere else to live. It was not a pretty scene.

She's a diabetic and has other ailments. She does not take care of herself. Never has. She eats horrible foods and doesn't watch her sugar levels, etc.

This morning, she had a doctor's appointment. So did I. I cancelled my appointment so I could take her to hers. Since hers wasn't until 10 am, I thought we'd go to Panera Bread for breakfast. Once I finished getting dressed, I went out to get her and noticed a cereal box on the counter. I asked if she'd already eaten, she said yes. I said, "OK, I wanted to stop at Panera. You can watch me eat." I figured she'd get a cup of coffee and a muffin or a bagel. NO. While I'm ordering my spinach and bacon souffle' she's pacing back and forth in front of the display.

Our conversation went like this.

Me: "What are you doing?"

Mom: "Getting a Danish."

Me: "Didn't you already eat?"

Mom: "Yes. I wanna get a Danish."

Me: "But...you already ate."

Mom: "Don't worry about it."

I got my souffle' (and an orange scone for lunch) and sat down. I was irritated at this point. I didn't like her flippant attitude when I pointed out that she had already eaten. (OK, let's get this straight right now. She ate a soup-bowl full of Frosted Flakes. The bowl holds about 3 "servings" as stated on the box. The cardboard box the cereal came in had more of a nutritional value than the "breakfast" did.) She came and sat across from me. She had a small cup of coffee and a Danish that covered 1/2 the plate. It was cherry-cheese and had lots of swirled icing on it. She commented about how it looked.

I sat there with my fork halfway to my mouth and just lost it. I told her I couldn't do this any more.

She said, "What?"

I said, "I cannot sit here and watch you kill yourself anymore. You need to find somewhere else to live. You already ate this morning and look at the size of that thing. You don't eat properly, you take insulin and it doesn't work correctly."

She pushed the plate away and said she'd stop eating "bad" stuff.
I said, "It's too late. I want you out of my house. I cannot do this any more."

"Fine, I'll leave tomorrow."

Long story short. No, she's not leaving tomorrow. She has no where to go. She knows that and I know that. However, she IS leaving. I cannot do this any more. I cannot keep worrying about her health when she's not worrying about it. It is making ME sick. She does not do what the doctors tell her to do. She does not even pretend to remotely attempt to do what they tell her to do. She complains her back hurts. She complains she's always vomiting or has diarrhea or doesn't feel well. Yeah? Well, here's a news flash for you. If you eat junk all day and do nothing but lie around sleeping or sitting there watching TV and get no exercise, you're going to get sick.

My sister is no help. She's got problems of her own. I called her today to tell her what happened (i.e. MY side of the story) and her response was, "She sounds depressed." Well thank you Dr. Stupendous! I hope you don't charge me $200 for THAT consultation. No sh*t Sherlock. Ya think? (Kudos to me for not hanging up on her or telling her what I really thought.)

I hate talking to sister dear, because every time I call to discuss mom, I end up hearing all about sis's problems and then I just let my issues drop. I guess that means I'm a coward; I don't know. I just don't feel like hearing her swearing and yelling all of the time. So, instead, I burden my friends with my problems. As if they don't have their own problems, right? I'm surprised anyone ever bothers to call me. I feel like a broken record; I'm on the same line over and over again and someone needs to come over and tap the stereo to make the needle move again.

I think today the stereo got tapped. The needle is definitely moving again. I've got to call my friend Lara to see if she'll come over and look at my house. My house is falling down around me and I need a TON of work to fix it. I want to find out exactly what I need to do to it to sell it. I used to actually like doing stuff around the house. I installed all new ceiling fans and new faucets and things like that. Now, something as simple as cleaning is a burden. (As Lara will see when she comes over. I'll bet cleaning alone will increase the value by about $1,500.00!)

I don't know. It is July 21. If I can find an apartment for my mother and get her moved out and settled by September 1 (sooner, I hope), then maybe I'll be able to start doing things to the house that need doing. I've always heard Spring time is the best time to sell a house. Then again, with the recession and the fact that I live on the "wrong side of the mountain," I have no idea if it will ever sell.

But, on the up side, I'll have a clean, repaired house to myself. If I want to have friends over, I can without feeling uncomfortable about it. Who knows, maybe I'll just "borrow" one of those for sale signs for a few months, blame the no-sale on the recession and live happily ever after in my own "real" world. Goodness knows I've been trying to live in a fantasy world and it's not working. Maybe someday my hoped-for reality will knock on the door. I'm sure, with my luck, though, I'll be at the grocery store.

Too Funny

I was just on a brain-teaser sight and saw a post by "Star_Tiger" I have no idea who the person is, this was the first time I was on this site. However, I laughed out loud when I saw the tag on his/her signature. I had to cut and paste it to post it here. All I can say is "Yay, Grandpa!"

Star_Tiger

Never take life seriously. No one gets out alive anyway.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

I can spit!

You're probably thinking, "uh, so can I," or "so what," or maybe even "gross, who cares?" However, it's a major break through that I CAN SPIT. I have Sjogren's (pronounced "show grins") Syndrome, my body attacks all of the moisture producing glands. I have extremely dry eyes and dry mouth. I cannot normally maintain enough moisture in my mouth to actually feel comfortable, I have to sip water all day. Because of the dry mouth, it's hard to eat solid foods without a high moisture content -- forget steak or granola bars.

I went to a new rheumatologist yesterday - Elizabeth Turner at Erlanger Hospital, B805, for those in the Chattanooga area in need of a GOOD rheumy. I had been to a different rheumy in the past; he had the bedside manner and compassion of a T-Rex in a bad mood. Anyway, Dr. Turner gave me an Rx for Evoxac and it actually works! I was taking something else, prescribed by T-Rex, but I would foam at the mouth for an hour then go back to being bone dry. I took one Evoxac last night about 7:00 PM and made it through the whole night without getting up to chew water.

(I refer to it as chewing water because that's pretty much what I do. I get a mouthful of water and start slushing it in my mouth working my lower jaw up and down instead of pushing it from cheek to cheek. I'm actually not the only one that does this. Others on the SjS forum have admitted to this.)

This is a wonderful feeling for me. I took another at 6:00 when I woke up and I've got spit! I can actually feel it coming out of the salivary glands and pooling under my tongue. Way cool!

You may not know how important saliva is, but it is immensely important. It helps boost your immune system. HUH? Well, dry mouth allows bacteria that your saliva would normally flush away to thrive. This leads to dental problems. Left untreated, the dental problems can lead to other medical issues. Did you know that the bacteria in your mouth responsible for gum disease can also cause heart disease? That's one of the reasons why you're supposed to see a dentist if your gums bleed when you brush or floss. That's an indicator of poor oral health; however, if the bacteria from your mouth enters your bloodstream, you can be in big trouble. It can attack your heart, your brain, or any of your other organs and shut you down. Nothing like needing a liver transplant because you didn't floss, huh?

So, anyone with dry mouth has to take extra care of their teeth. The last visit to the dentist I had we found 3 cavities. NOT a good thing. I have no intention of loosing my teeth. So, getting saliva flowing is an awesome thing!

Plus an added bonus, this should seriously cut down on the number of trips to the bathroom.

It just doesn't get any better than that!

Hope

I was reading my June issue of the Ensign a couple of days ago. That's a monthly magazine published by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. There, on page 9, is a beautiful poem titled "Walking with Two Sisters" by Larry Hiller. I tried to copy the poem here, but there is a copyright issue. No can do. However, the entire article is available at the posted URL with the poem. Please read it. It was a wonderful uplifting thought about Hope. It's one man's perspective that really seems to explain what Hope truly is. I'm going to cut the poem out, laminate it and tack it to my bathroom mirror. I think it will be a great way to start my day.

The article, condensed by yours truly:

We all know the three sisters: Faith, Hope and Charity. Faith comes in strong and can move mountains. Charity is modest and refined. But Hope seems fickle, like she's unable to make a decision. The author, Larry Hiller, states it's based on the way people use her name: I "hope" I find my watch; I "hope" it doesn't rain. It's a 50/50 chance on what Hope is likely to do.

His interest in getting to know Hope was based on a scripture he heard quoted in a Sacrament meeting: Romans 5:3-5 (look it up or read the article). He didn't "get" the scripture and pondered it for a while. He finally came to the conclusion that "Hope is anything but wishful. It is expectation based on experience."

I love the way he describes Hope: "Her eyes have the deep, knowing look of someone well acquainted with sorrow...the confidence of one who clearly sees a bright future even when the next hours seem fog shrouded. Hope is steady and strong, a friend I am glad to have beside me during my own trials."

As I read this article, I wrote some thoughts on the page: Hope doesn't give up. Hope will always find a reason to go on. Hope knows something better is on the horizon; Hope diligently seeks for it. Hope lives in all of us. We just need to let Hope out more often.

http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=6a25ceb47f381210VgnVCM100000176f620a____&hideNav=1

Donkeys among us.

I don't use foul language. Not usually. Unless I'm REALLY mad about something. Then, forget about it. All decorum and politeness goes out the window. I'm trying to do better. Most of the time I succeed. That said...

This morning on my way to work, I saw one of my neighbors (theDonkeys) cut off another driver. You know the Donkeys. They're everywhere. I'm sure they've got a branch of the family living right next to you. Once I tell you their names, you'll say, "Oh, THEM. Yeah. I see THEM all the time."

First up, there's JACK,
and his sister IMAN (that would be pronounced "I'm an," not "E mon")
Next we've got the twins: HEZAN and SHEZAN
and the twins' older sibling: WHATAN
Last, but not least, the truck-driving cousin: HAUL.

So, how many Donkeys do you have lurking around in your neighborhood? Do tell.

Kindness of Strangers

Weird title for post, but I thought it was appropriate in a way. Saturday I was driving up the W road to go home. Almost to the top, I saw a "thing" in the road. Well, it turns out the "thing" was a turtle. It's neck was stretched way out and it was trying to get to the other side of the road. I straddled it and all the while was saying, "Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh," and cringing because I didn't want to smoosh it. I glanced in the rear view and saw it was still alive, just as my mother said, "You didn't hit it." As I looked in the rear view mirror, I saw three cars behind me. Not one of those three vehicles smooshed the turtle. Two straddled it and the third swerved around it. I'm at work on my lunch break and had to post this. I haven't been able to get that image out of my mind. People amaze me. You've got some that will kill over a "funny look" and others that respect all forms of life.

There's a song out with a refrain, "God is Great, Beer is Good, and People are Crazy." Pretty much sums it up.

(Well, not the beer part.)

allow me to introduce myself

Hello. My name is Teresa. I live in Tennessee. I opened this account in 2006 and have never used it. I'm going to jump in now because several friends are blogging and I'd like to keep up with them. Yeah, yeah, I'm a follower, not a leader. Whatever!

I'm also a funny, sarcastic, irreverent, twisted, oddball with a "unique" view on life. Hence the tag "Suck a Lemon." What the heck is that all about? Well, I just can't follow that trite old saying, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade." Who the heck carries sugar and a pitcher around with them where ever they go?! Hello people, not me! I've got enough crap to carry without adding to the burden. Not to mention, I'm just too darned lazy to go through the process of mixing and measuring and stirring and all that garbage that goes with "making lemonade." Forget that crap!

When life hands you lemons, suck on them and make funny faces! It's instant gratification and people will wonder what in the world you're up to. When tragedy falls on me, it usually lands right on my head and knocks me out for a while, leaving a huge goose-egg. However, I'm usually able to see the humor in the tragedy within a short amount of time (often as they're stitching me up).

I'm not perfect. (I only pretend to be. I figure if I tell myself how wonderful and perfect I am, I might actually hit the mark some day.) Oops, I digress. Sorry. As I was saying, I'm not perfect. Heaven knows I've got a nasty temper and a bad attitude. However, at the same time (how's this for an oxymoron?) I'm also loving, kind-hearted and nurturing.

I may initially be totally torqued about some perceived slight, freak out and go on a tirade about it. What I lovingly refer to a a meltdown. However, in couple of minutes it's over, I'm calm and rational. I can actually dissect the situation, realize I over reacted, apologize to whomever I've offended and go from there. Assuming that I was wrong; which most of the time I am. If I was right and I was wronged (great sentence, huh?), I don't hold grudges. I'm (usually) just as quick to forgive as I am to apologize.

I'm difficult to get to know. I have to "feel you out" to see if I'm going to be comfortable around you. But if I find that you are in my comfort zone, you have found a psycho-bizarre funny friend for life. I'm kind of like a 2-legged lab. You know about Labrador retrievers, right? One minute you want to kill it, the next minute your laughing your butt off because of its silly antics. Gotta love those labs!

I don't really know what else I could write. If you want to know anything, ask and if it's not too intrusive, I'll answer. The friends that I mentioned who are blogging? They're Bela, Amber, Lindsey, Melissa, Melanie and I'm sure I'll find some more as I wander around in cyberspace. If you happen to run into them, give them a hug from me and tell them to stop by and say hi.

Until the next time...