Out of Stupidity comes BRILLIANCE!

The stupidity? Exercising at noon when all you've had to eat was a 6 oz yogurt at 8 am.

The brilliance? Making 'nana-butter pudding!!

I went today for a workout. While on the floor doing crunches, I was light-headed and dizzy. My trainer asked if I ate anything. I said, yeah, a yogurt when I got up, maybe around 9. (It was actually more around 8.) So, we continue with the workout, a bit slower in pace so I don't keel over.

I left there, feeling quite refreshed, actually and took the trash in my truck to the dump. However, I was starving. I'm thinking of all the stuff I could/should eat as I'm driving home. There's soup I could heat up. I've got stuff for a salad. There's veggies in the freezer. All that good stuff. I hit the door and see 3 well-ripened bananas on the counter and my stomach growls loud enough to be heard in Cancun!

OK. Forget all thoughts of "fixing" something and grab a banana and just start eating. Then I spot the peanut butter. I'm thinking, hmmm, slice the banana and put some peanut butter on it. Protein and carbs AND high in potassium. It's all good. I slice the banana, dump a huge spoonful of extra chunky pb on it and it just doesn't look appealing.

How do I eat it? Fork? Spoon? Grab a chunk of banana and some pb? Grab a glob of pb and then some banana? Too complicated. So, I grabbed the blender and turned the whole thing into pudding! I realized that there was actually too much peanut butter, so I had to add another banana.

There you have it: 'nana-butter pudding:

2 well-ripened bananas sliced
1 big spoon of your favorite peanut butter

Blend until smooth; but leave in a few lumps just for texture. Eat.

This was really very satisfying. It had a really nice rich creamy texture and was sweet. I felt like I was eating something I shouldn't be eating -- this is way too good to be good for me. I guess the riper the bananas, the sweeter and more decadent the taste.

If you try it, let me know if you like it. Don't go screwing it up by putting sugar or chocolate in it! Although, I'll bet eating a gummy worm with this would be kind of cool. Totally different textures and tastes.

Whining Like a Baby

I'm cleaning the "TV" room. This is day two. Day one consisted of removing huge amounts of dirt/dust, throwing numerous things in the trash and mopping the dog pee/poop off of the floor. I was really hoping the smell would come out with just the Oxyclean and hot water. It did.

So, day two and I'm STILL removing huge amounts of dirt and dust and throwing stuff away. I have no idea how in the world she spent HOURS in that room with the smell and dirt. And she had the audacity to chide me about the dog hair in my room. (Yes, there was enough to make a Great Dane when I finally cleaned up, but at least there was no biological waste in there!)

Oh, and she used the lamp shades as pin cushions. Man that really ticks me off! There are pin holes in the lamp shades. What is wrong with her? She got up to get the stupid needle and thread, she can't get up to put it away? NO, she had to stick the darned needle in my LAMP SHADES because, well, obviously that's where they go. It's a fashion statement, don't you know!?

I'm really looking forward to the first call from my sister saying, "Why didn't you tell me that Mommy..."

Oh, yeah. Can't wait. Wonder how long it's gonna take.

New goal in life

I went to Church last night for the first time in I don't know how long. It was good. It was about Life Long Learning. I've always been into "learning something new every day." But I've allowed myself to forget that zest for knowledge in the past few years.

One of my favorite sayings is, "Knowledge is Power." That is based on my job, actually, and the fact that I'm constantly explaining to people how to determine if their money is real. You can't detect counterfeit money if you don't know what real money looks like. If you know what to look for, no one can take advantage of you. That goes for everything in life, not just your cash! So...

If knowledge is power...and power makes you rule...I want to rule the universe!

No, I'm not saying I want to be a dictator. I'm saying I want to know EVERYTHING there is to know. That's my new goal in life. Knowledge. To continue to learn something new every day. To find joy in every moment. To bury the past. To look forward to the future. To live in the moment. To find me again. To wake up and be happy.

Life Sucks

My mother has lived with me for nearly 9 years. Today I told her she needs to find somewhere else to live. It was not a pretty scene.

She's a diabetic and has other ailments. She does not take care of herself. Never has. She eats horrible foods and doesn't watch her sugar levels, etc.

This morning, she had a doctor's appointment. So did I. I cancelled my appointment so I could take her to hers. Since hers wasn't until 10 am, I thought we'd go to Panera Bread for breakfast. Once I finished getting dressed, I went out to get her and noticed a cereal box on the counter. I asked if she'd already eaten, she said yes. I said, "OK, I wanted to stop at Panera. You can watch me eat." I figured she'd get a cup of coffee and a muffin or a bagel. NO. While I'm ordering my spinach and bacon souffle' she's pacing back and forth in front of the display.

Our conversation went like this.

Me: "What are you doing?"

Mom: "Getting a Danish."

Me: "Didn't you already eat?"

Mom: "Yes. I wanna get a Danish."

Me: "But...you already ate."

Mom: "Don't worry about it."

I got my souffle' (and an orange scone for lunch) and sat down. I was irritated at this point. I didn't like her flippant attitude when I pointed out that she had already eaten. (OK, let's get this straight right now. She ate a soup-bowl full of Frosted Flakes. The bowl holds about 3 "servings" as stated on the box. The cardboard box the cereal came in had more of a nutritional value than the "breakfast" did.) She came and sat across from me. She had a small cup of coffee and a Danish that covered 1/2 the plate. It was cherry-cheese and had lots of swirled icing on it. She commented about how it looked.

I sat there with my fork halfway to my mouth and just lost it. I told her I couldn't do this any more.

She said, "What?"

I said, "I cannot sit here and watch you kill yourself anymore. You need to find somewhere else to live. You already ate this morning and look at the size of that thing. You don't eat properly, you take insulin and it doesn't work correctly."

She pushed the plate away and said she'd stop eating "bad" stuff.
I said, "It's too late. I want you out of my house. I cannot do this any more."

"Fine, I'll leave tomorrow."

Long story short. No, she's not leaving tomorrow. She has no where to go. She knows that and I know that. However, she IS leaving. I cannot do this any more. I cannot keep worrying about her health when she's not worrying about it. It is making ME sick. She does not do what the doctors tell her to do. She does not even pretend to remotely attempt to do what they tell her to do. She complains her back hurts. She complains she's always vomiting or has diarrhea or doesn't feel well. Yeah? Well, here's a news flash for you. If you eat junk all day and do nothing but lie around sleeping or sitting there watching TV and get no exercise, you're going to get sick.

My sister is no help. She's got problems of her own. I called her today to tell her what happened (i.e. MY side of the story) and her response was, "She sounds depressed." Well thank you Dr. Stupendous! I hope you don't charge me $200 for THAT consultation. No sh*t Sherlock. Ya think? (Kudos to me for not hanging up on her or telling her what I really thought.)

I hate talking to sister dear, because every time I call to discuss mom, I end up hearing all about sis's problems and then I just let my issues drop. I guess that means I'm a coward; I don't know. I just don't feel like hearing her swearing and yelling all of the time. So, instead, I burden my friends with my problems. As if they don't have their own problems, right? I'm surprised anyone ever bothers to call me. I feel like a broken record; I'm on the same line over and over again and someone needs to come over and tap the stereo to make the needle move again.

I think today the stereo got tapped. The needle is definitely moving again. I've got to call my friend Lara to see if she'll come over and look at my house. My house is falling down around me and I need a TON of work to fix it. I want to find out exactly what I need to do to it to sell it. I used to actually like doing stuff around the house. I installed all new ceiling fans and new faucets and things like that. Now, something as simple as cleaning is a burden. (As Lara will see when she comes over. I'll bet cleaning alone will increase the value by about $1,500.00!)

I don't know. It is July 21. If I can find an apartment for my mother and get her moved out and settled by September 1 (sooner, I hope), then maybe I'll be able to start doing things to the house that need doing. I've always heard Spring time is the best time to sell a house. Then again, with the recession and the fact that I live on the "wrong side of the mountain," I have no idea if it will ever sell.

But, on the up side, I'll have a clean, repaired house to myself. If I want to have friends over, I can without feeling uncomfortable about it. Who knows, maybe I'll just "borrow" one of those for sale signs for a few months, blame the no-sale on the recession and live happily ever after in my own "real" world. Goodness knows I've been trying to live in a fantasy world and it's not working. Maybe someday my hoped-for reality will knock on the door. I'm sure, with my luck, though, I'll be at the grocery store.

Too Funny

I was just on a brain-teaser sight and saw a post by "Star_Tiger" I have no idea who the person is, this was the first time I was on this site. However, I laughed out loud when I saw the tag on his/her signature. I had to cut and paste it to post it here. All I can say is "Yay, Grandpa!"

Star_Tiger

Never take life seriously. No one gets out alive anyway.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.